Monday, April 23, 2012

"If you want to have fun, play Candyland."

This one's for you, Popsicle!

"If you want to have fun, play Candyland."

Last week I learned the value of being a heartless real-estate tycoon. The values are as follows:

  1. All the money you want
  2. Property in exotic locations
  3. The ability to make people do anything you want

All this really means is that we played Monopoly, I was bankrupt, and I have yet to figure out how to purchase the little house thingys.

So I was miserable. And the above quotation was my Popsicle's response to me.

On a totally different note- last week I also discovered the amazing potential of snack machines.

I had never actually used one until last week, and then I caved to my hungry, stressed (it is finals week after all!!) teenage body and bought a cinnamon roll. I was horrified to find that the change from the $5 bill I put in was returned to me in quarters. Who needs 16 quarters rolling around in a pocket? If you put them in a pants pocket, it'll sag your jeans so low and jingle so loudly that you'll look and sound like a rapper. And really, who needs that? So then, mainly to help eliminate my quaters, I bought something else.

And then I realized I had fallen into the trap of the snack machines.

It is literally the perfect scheme!!

I felt so guilty about my noisy walking that I felt the need to spend more money, buy another unhealthy snack, and generally ruin my plans for healthy living. They're out to sabotage my good intentions!!

The main lesson from last week? Although snack machines may look friendly, they are in fact devilish monsters who spit quarters at you.

Beware good people, beware.........

Monday, April 16, 2012

Today I Ate A Four Leaf Clover...

I just knew this blogging thing would be exciting! However, I didn't really think my life would be interesting enough to post about. Long story incredibly short- I couldn't imagine doing anything remotely cool enough to write about..... Boy was I wrong!!

"Let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height...."

Today "The Fam" and I went to a local city park and flew kites in the beautiful spring day. As one would expect, there was a tad of competition for airspace. Between jets, seagulls, well controlled kites, and run-aways, the sky was almost overrun. But I want to focus on the topic of run-away kites.

The wind was rather brisk, and some of the smaller kite owners were struggling a bit for control of their flying masterpieces.... And then a string snapped.


Actually I mean that quite literally, as we were on top of a mountain (or a flat-lander's version of one at least) and the kite went flying down the side of said mountainous structure. Much to my chagrin, I felt responsible enough for this minor calamity to run down the mountain, across a jogger's path, (which is a rather hazardous past-time) through a parking lot, and finally waded through a stand of rather tall (and very spiky!!) reeds. And then, and only then, I spotted the object of my obesssion: The Pink Princess Box Kite!!!

After extracting said kite from said reeds, I found a four leaf clover.

The four leaf clover was merely a byproduct of standing too close to a clover patch, and my almost magnetic attraction to any four leafed clover nearby.....

Typically I press the clovers I find in a nearby book, but I was at the park, and books were not readily available. After my run back through the parking lot, back across the jogging path (less hazardously this time) and finally back up the mountain, I wanted to press my clover. I didn't want to carry it, and I most certainly knew it wouldn't last until we made it home.

So I did the only thing I could think of.....

I ate it.

I immediately regretted my decision, and began to rethink it. I figured (apparently in error) that if horses ate clover and loved it that I would also. Horses will seek out a clover patch (not unlike me) and plant themselves firmly over it. Then they will eat clover until their spit foams up, and they roll in the patch in a contented haze. I didn't like it all all!! It tastes sort of like salad greens, but more bitter and less civalized..... And it turns out I'm not a horse, who knew?

My warning of the day pertains to anyone curious enough to eat clover. Just don't do it.....

Unless you're a horse.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Start Of Things...

So there I sat, in the late afternoon sun, contemplating my short life.

I'm not typically prone to such moments, but the previous seconds had led me to this point. You see, I was at a lacrosse game ("A simple enough sport..." you say?)  and had almost been killed by threee stray players. They had charged off of the field in hot pursuit of one of their balls, and I was just an innocent bystander without padding sitting too close to the field's boundary. Call me crazy, but I could have been killed... Or maimed, or bruised....

In the split seconds following this momentious- dare I say life changing- event, I remembered the many things I have yet to accomplish. The list includes (but is not limited to) getting into college with a dazzling GPA, adopting a fish named Vewe (who will live in a bubble on my wall), skydiving (but only if I'm pushed), and blogging.

And then it hit me--- I had never blogged. Seeing as its always been a dream of mine, and it is much more attainable than any of the other aforementioned items, I suppose I've set about to change that. This way, should I be done away with by a foul ball at the next lacrosse game,  I can rest a little bit more peacefully. I can also say with pride that I. Have. Blogged.

I suppose this is a start, however poor, to an interesting creation. I hope that it brings you as much joy as it brings me stress relief, and that somehow I can show you its ok to be a little bit crazy. Who knows, you might even share something with the world too....

Have fun, love life, and swim free.